Progress Narrative

 

Absolutely nothing got

accomplished in my life

today—and I mean nothing,

and I mean my life: zero. 
At 11:30 the phone rang,

and I was sleeping (up ’til

5 listening to Crystal Waters

remixes and writing letters). 

I waited until the answering

machine picked up (Who

doesn’t?  Telephones can

be such a trap).  It was BB,

just calling to say he hit the

skids and wouldn’t be coming

to the City for the weekend. 

Then he told me about a terrible

stabbing two streets away from

our old apartment and hung up. 

Well, that depressed me so

much I went back to sleep

until 1:30, when my mother

called.  She was watching

Leah, Susanna’s new baby. 

“Baby Leah is going to gurgle

into the phone for you.”  I told

her that when I’m in California,

I’ll be taking the Mercedes

down the PCH to visit Cha-Cha

in Malibu, and she interjected,

“There was a reporter from

Philadelphia at the OJ trial—

he went out to grab a sandwich

and had a terrible accident—he

died.  Those roads out there are

treacherous.”  She’s still a little

girl—neither of us will ever

grow up.  Then the little girl

who is my mother hung up

to go feed Leah, and I threw

on some underwear—do other

people talk to their mothers

naked?  The phone rang—this

time I didn’t pick up, and the

mystery caller hung up.  It rang

again, and I thought “Ha!  I’ll

find out who that was!,”  but it

was only Bill, who had not just

called and hung up, my previous

call a mystery for all time (gotta

get Caller ID). Bill was a mess

about Swimmerboy and wanted

to know the 411 on Lotterina and

had a lot to say about Sharon Stone,

when the other line blipped and

it was Nelson, who was coming

over to pick up his sweater.  I

talked to Bill some more, when

the door buzzer buzzed: “It’s

Pachuquito from LA—let me in.” 

Bitch—buzz.  Then back to Bill

and Nelson in a Pepsi shirt, smart

ass.  I hung up and made a protein
shake, as I cursed l’Être Supreme

because there were no ice cubes

and all the bananas had fruit flies. 

I drank my shake leisurely and

made that little honey walk my

ass to Crunch Fitness, where

Mistress America was waiting

and we talked too much (“Contempa! 

Look at that colorblock sweater! 

Mommy and Me!”) and I had

to skip my abs, but then this guy

in the locker room who bartends

at Crobar was there with his

sculpted sixpack and I thought

to myself,  “See, you’ll never look

like that.”  A steamy douche made

me feel better and since the day

was already shot I ran over to

Starbucks for lemon-iced angel-

food and the café du jour—it’s

not like I had time to run home

and eat a real meal, since I

promised Bill I’d meet him

at the Gap, 8th and B’way,

5:30 p.m.  Lord only knows

where he’s taking me—Banditos? 

Some trash pit.  Thanks to Ben

Franklin, it’s dark by now.  Only

the EXIT sign shines bright, like

a Warhol Electric Chair silkscreen

 

 

 

Michael Angelo Tata’s poetry has been exhibited as sculpture in “The Weather,” a multimedia exhibit at the Parlor Gallery (Lancaster, PA), and as fashion through the Long Beach Foundation for the Arts.  His poetry has most recently appeared in the journals Origami Condom, LinQ, FRIGG, and Ugly Couch.  He is currently American editor for Australian interdisciplinary journal Nebula.